Everyone is always late here. Some of you might recall last month when we were supposed to leave for Brittany at 11AM and didn't get on the road until about 3PM. That's a particularly egregious example but serves to highlight the prevalence of the situation as well as the general acceptance of it.
In America we are time conscious. That's evident. When you are late everyone wants to know: Why? What took so long? What happened? That is if you are lucky. If you aren't so lucky the responses will be more openly hostile.
Here no one demands reasons. C'est pas grave. No big deal. If you are asked simple excuses suffice. One of the beauties of the mass transit system is an easy excuse. I missed the bus. Bomb sweep on the metro.
I found myself behind schedule the other day and was mentally preparing my story for why I was late only to discover that no one cared--a reoccurring French motif. I can't tell you how much time I've spent concocting excuses and stories to assuage people when I'm late in the States. Trying to avert attention from the fact that I was too tied up in myself to leave on time. Excuses that say, "I'm so sorry. I do care about your time. It was beyond my control. No disrespect."
Here everyone knows everyone else is self-involved. There is an acceptance that personal lives are busy. The emphasis in America is supposedly "individual freedom" but so much time is invested into group activities--rotary club, team sports, book clubs--that we all learn to limit our own individuality in respect to others. We're brought up as a community, we learn to interact, to behave in group settings. As a result we learn to lie or make excuses in order to not offend.
Whereas our individual freedoms stop at the expense of others they know no burden here. You live your life. You identify yourself with yourself. In America we often define ourselves by our social outlet group. I play ultimate Frisbee. My friend is a duck hunter. Another is a drummer in a band. In the eyes of the French, part of our supposed "individual identity" gets lost at the expense of that activity. We lose a piece of our "self" by coalescing into something larger.
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3 comments:
Interesting post. You seem to give no opinion about which is more "refreshing" or "better". Maybe you'll have one after more time.
How exactly do you identify yourself without describing the activities you enjoy or the people you enjoy them with?
Sorry to pose a question, but I don't have much time to philosophize teaching 5th grade.
-tank : Ultimate player, never late to practice. :-)
I think it's a good question, Tank. Have you ever seen Anger Management? I don't know the quote, but I hope you can remember it even though it's not Seinfeld. Jack Nicholson's character is enfuriating Adam Sandler's character by asking him repeatedly who he is, and Sandler keeps saying hobbies, adjectives, etc. and nothing answers "Who are you?"
Or Zoolander: "Who am I?" "I dunno."
-mia, who taught pre-k all day =/
Thinks I'm happy about
a) I found out the identity of "notapuller." It had been confounding me.
b) That Tank leaves good comments with not only answers but with questions.
-The only answer I can venture on how to define yourself is what you believe in.
-As for which system I prefer, America baby! (We have baseball)
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